Tourism: Africa the unmatched travel destination

A giraffe at the Nile River

“…the West has a perception problem. Because when we talk about Africa, more often than not, it's to talk about catastrophes and epidemics, and to conflate a single country with a 1 billion-strong continent.”  – Arit John, reporter.

Arit John a congress reporter for Bloomberg wouldn’t have put it better than the quote above where she briefly shows part of the problem why Africa is not considered as a tourist destination. One of which is making sweeping generalizations about the continent and painting it in bad light as one plagued by conflicts, ravaged by disease and broken dreams. What does Africa have to offer in terms of tourism? Africa is the second largest continent in the world after Asia and one of the most misunderstood and arguably the most underrated of all continents. Comprising 54 countries, in addition to diversity, rich culture and traditions this continent offers magnificent landscapes, as well as precious and diverse wildlife in their natural habitat.
Beryl Markham, a British-born Kenyan aviator and adventurer and the first woman to fly solo, non-stop across the Atlantic from east to west believed, “Africa is mystic; it is wild; it is a sweltering inferno; it is a photographer's paradise, a hunter's Valhalla, an escapist's Utopia. It is what you will, and it withstands all interpretations. It is the last vestige of a dead world or the cradle of a shiny new one. To a lot of people, as to myself, it is just 'home'.” But how do you begin to describe Africa’s magnificent landscapes and unforgettable wildlife to someone who has never visited the continent?

A large percentage of the people who don’t include Africa in their travel itinerary believe that the continent offers mediocre or substandard travel destinations and this common mistake and assumptions is portrayed in the media and pop culture. In support of this contrasting view that Africa has nothing to offer in terms of tourism, TripAdvisor’s 2018 Awards1 which uses an algorithm based on the quantity and quality of reviews and ratings by travelers in destinations worldwide gathered over a 12-month period had very few African cities mentioned in their report. If there are less people traveling to Africa, wouldn’t the number of reviews be inadequate to give a fair judgement compared to other destinations in other continents? Clearly with less people traveling to the continent this would translate to fewer reviews being shared with travel blogs and the media at large.

During lunch break at my workplace, I asked my colleagues why African destinations never feature as part of their travel destinations, “there’s Ebola”, “there are wars everywhere”, “corruption is rampant in Africa”, these were some of the reasons given. These typical generalizations are hurting tourism in Africa, all of the 54 countries are governed differently, they all have different people and cultures, different attractions as well as different economies which goes to prove that they all have different pleasures to offer in terms of culture. Africa has the largest collection of animals in their natural habitat and while you may find similar animals in some of the countries, each country provides a totally different experience.


       Fig. 1 - Leopards and Giraffes in the Maasai Mara, Kenya

The “Big Five” comprising of the elephant, buffalo, rhino, lion and leopard can be viewed in Kruger National Park in South Africa or the Serengeti in Tanzania or Maasai Mara in Kenya, countries in East Africa. The Serengeti migration, one of the natural “Wonders of the World” can be found in this region, and this is the thrilling and breathtaking natural events where wildebeests, antelopes, zebras and other animals migrate in their millions from Serengeti in Tanzania to Maasai Mara in Kenya and vice versa in search of pasture. Figure 1 shows leopards and giraffes in their natural habitat in Maasai Mara, Kenya and they are a big tourist attraction. In no other continent can you view the “Big Five” in their natural habitat other than Africa. In addition to these great beasts you can also view the surfing hippos in Gabon, a country in West Africa or the epic battles between the predator and prey in the Okavango Delta in Botswana, a country in South of Africa. The Delta also known as “the jewel of the Kalahari”, was named as one of the Seven Natural Wonders of Africa2 and it also became the 1000th site to be officially inscribed on the UNESCO World Heritage List3.

Looking for more reasons to visit this diverse continent? The North of Africa that includes Egypt, Sudan and Eritrea has the Red Sea Reef which stretches 1,240 miles along the coast and has more than 1,100 species of fish and close to 10% of these are exclusive to this reef. Did you know there are only remains two Northern White Rhinos and they are female? Chances are this would be the last we are seeing of this species, this is after the last surviving male Northern White Rhino died at the Ol Pejeta Conservancy in Kenya. Birds are not be left out, according to the South African Journal of Science4, they analyzed avian diversity in all continents and Africa had the largest in terms of diversity beyond the species level. Lake Nakuru in Kenya, East Africa has the largest group of flamingos in the world where a single colony has more than 1 million members, figure 2 below gives a graphical representation of this natural phenomenon.


Fig. 2 - Millions of flamingos at the Lake Nakuru National Park, Kenya

This article wouldn’t be complete if I didn’t mention the largest primate, the gorillas which can be found in Uganda and Rwanda. When you think of seeing the tallest animal, the fastest animal, the largest primate, the largest reptile in their natural environments, make your way to Africa. No other continent offers this diversity and hence tourism is one of the highest income earners for some countries in this region.

Most continents have natural landscapes that they can boast of, yet most travel agents and media never take a moment to feature what Africa has to offer. Known as the “Smoke that Thunders”, Victoria Falls at the border of Zambia and Zimbabwe is mesmerizing and was voted as one of the Seven Natural Wonders of the World2. The falls are 1.7km-wide with a volume of between 20,000 and 700,000 cubic metres of water per minute falling down a vertical drop of 100m and are considered the largest waterfalls in the world. The Nile River which covers eleven countries in Africa is considered to be the longest river in the world and drains into the Mediterranean Sea is also an attraction to behold. Ancient Egypt a great history of mankind couldn’t have existed without this majestic river. According to an overview of the physical geography of Africa, the continent has a wide range of mountains that provide great treks and sights to behold. From the snowcapped Mount Kenya in Kenya, to the Table Mountains in South Africa, Mount Oku in Cameroon, West Africa, Jabel Marra a long line of volcanic peaks in Sudan, the Atlas Mountains a range of mountains in Maghreb which stretches across three countries in North Africa to Mount Kilimanjaro (see figure 3) a dormant volcano rising up to 19,341 feet making it the highest mountain in the continent.

 
Fig. 3 - A herd of elephants seen at the base of Mount Kilimanjaro, Tanzania

Do you know the oldest desert in the world dating back 80 million years is in this continent? This is in Namibia to the South of the continent and this country is a place of contrasting landscapes, it also boasts the largest known meteorite. Not all beaches are created equal and when you think of a beach to visit and relax you’d want the white pristine uncrowded beaches. The “Thrillist” a travel blog reviewed “the 20 most beautiful beaches in the world” where only La Digue in Seychelles an island in Africa featured the rest were from different countries in other continents.
According to “Culture Trip” a popular travel blog, “Africa is home to some of the world’s most stunning beaches and islands, each with unique and fascinating stories, cultures, natural landscapes, and sights of interest.” Most of the beaches dotting the coastlines of many countries in this continent are unexplored and hence undiscovered and they offer romantic getaways, abundant displays of marine life and endless possibilities when it comes to activities. Camps Bay in Cape Town South Africa, see below, is one of the picturesque and most popular beaches offering privacy among the boulders and cool waters of the Indian Ocean as well as views where you can capture spectacular sunsets.

 
                Fig. 4 Camps Bay in Cape Town, South Africa

The Western media is to blame for painting a one-dimensional portrait of Africa when it comes to traveling destination and thereby giving travelers and travel agents a misconstrued opinion and attitude regarding this beautiful continent. Sadly, this image is what’s used to choose the next travel destination by most travelers and for travel agents to refer their clients and most of these people won’t travel to Africa based on this belief. What role can the media in Africa, their governments and its people do to create awareness and reverse this trend? 

Africa changes you forever, like nowhere on earth. Once you have been there, you will never be the same. But how do you begin to describe its magic to someone who has never felt it? How can you explain the fascination of this vast, dusty continent, whose oldest roads are elephant paths? Could it be because Africa is the place of all our beginnings, the cradle of mankind, where our species first stood upright on the savannas of long ago? – Brian Jackman, an award-winning journalist and author

What happened to the explorers of this world who wouldn’t depend on reviews and opinions to visit a place? As Brian Jackman states above, most of the visitors to this continent have left with great memories and truly mesmerized by the unparalleled beauty and there’s no other way to understand this feeling than planning a visit of your own. African people need to share their diversity story and be louder than the idea of Africa that’s out there which overshadows the facts. With the power of social media which can be so real and raw, the travelers coming to Africa need to share their experiences and paint a different image in order to promote and gain public support when it comes to the continent’s destinations and what they have to offer. This will eventually trigger a change in travel habits and bring a sort of balance in the world of travel and tourism in general as well as remove some of the stereotypes that the media and people hold.

Works Cited

1TripAdvisor’s 2018 Awards - https://www.tripadvisor.com/TravelersChoice-Destinations

2Seven Natural Wonders of Africa - http://sevennaturalwonders.org/index_/wonders-by-continent/africa/

3UNESCO World Heritage. "World Heritage List reaches 1000 sites with inscription of Okavango Delta in Botswana". whc.unesco.org. Retrieved 4 April 2018

4South African Journal of Science, “Beyond just species: Is Africa the most taxonomically diverse bird continent?” On-line version ISSN 1996-7489, Print version ISSN 0038-2353, S. Afr. j. sci. vol.109 n.5-6 Pretoria Jan. 2013

Lonely Planet, “Welcome to Africa.” - https://www.lonelyplanet.com/africa

Encyclopedia Britannica – “Africa.” -  https://www.britannica.com/place/Africa

My Musings

The rain drums on. It comes down in sheets, hammering windows with fluctuating fury as gusts of wind come and go. I’m situated in a leather seat in a glitzy pub. 

One of those establishments that are small enough to fill/sell-out, and still maintain a unique ambiance. I have a snifter in one hand, and a book in the other. 

Directly opposite is a mural of a nondescript man staring at me blankly. I’m drawn to the mural because I’m growing listless by the minute. I’ve been waiting on someone going on for 30 minutes. 

Gradually, I find myself, drifting to the music, 1950's American Jazz crooned by a raspy melodious male voice. The stiff drink, the music and the book fail at stoking my spirits. I have barely ploughed through a chapter of the book, but I know I’m done. 

My concentration is fragmented. Averse to dog-eared book pages, I sear my current page in my mind, and put the book down. I swivel my frame, and turn my attention to the wall high windows laden with rainwater trickling down lazily on the outside. The window beckons to me. In answer, I walk to it. 
The window overlooks a construction site that is a hive of industry. Three floors up looking down, the men toiling away appear minuscule. A few wheelbarrows are trundled to and fro transporting an assortment of materials. 
The men steering the wheelbarrows look beaten. Their spirits appear whipped either by the rain or the work. 
They trudge across the construction site listlessly, almost moving on instinct. For protection against the rain that pours relentlessly, they have on what appears to be transparent raincoats. 

The contract must be running behind time for the men to be subjected to toiling under such dreary weather. I’m interrupted from my observation by the trill of my phone. My prospect has arrived. I’m here to make a pitch. 
To put my nose to the grindstone just like the construction site laborers, albeit with unmatched comfort.

Spells and Treats

Hospitals invariably remind me of my mortality, of the fickleness of life. We run through a spell of good health, and somehow take this good fortune for granted. Until maladies come knocking. Maladies come laden with information. 

They remind us of good diets, the bad taste of medicine and how prayerful we should be. When a malady calls, it's no time for half measures. Not when pathogens have infested my body and I can almost feel them doing cartwheels in me. 

I feel doubly ill because I'm peculiarly hot in July weather until I get to the hospital waiting area and see faces of other would be patients. I sober up real quick. I feel like a sissy. I almost want to turn back and leave, go get some painkiller. Or head home to brew some ginger concoction and call it a day.

At length, I stifle the thought of retreating. Seeing as I'm already here, I might as well see a doctor. After jumping through procedural hoops, 30 minutes later I’m attended to by a doctor. 
Thing is you never appreciate doctors enough until some disease gets the better of you. When you feel like some external force has annexed your body and is doing battle with your soul. 

During such times, the mere sight of a doctor in his white garb and a stethoscope draped on a shoulder instills hope. You feel like you've halved your journey to recovery. 

If you concentrate hard enough, you will feel the pathogens breaking rank, scampering, running for the hills.

Can you tell I'm single?

One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is their constant need for reassurance. No, you're not fat. If you were fat you wouldn't be able to fit into that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn't be giving you free shit if you were ugly.
So here it is for the last time...You're not fat! You're not ugly! You know it and I know it so stop asking.

What makes you think I care about the kind of day that your sister's co-worker's dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don't know her co-worker and I certainly don't know her dog. So why the fuck are you telling me this story? I don't care! If you have something worth talking about, then I'll enjoy engaging you in meaningful conversation. 
But before you start talking to me about some of the insane frivolous shit that you talk to your girlfriends about, first ask yourself "Does this have a point?". Because if it doesn't I'm just going to smile, and nod, and zone out and you'll get mad because I'm not listening to your retarded shit!

So men are pigs because they stare at your boobs. I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that you're wearing a skin tight low cut shirt that has 'Bebe' printed across your boobs... one 'Be' per boob. It's totally unfair that you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because you like to look sexy. And boo hoo, it's so hard for you to meet a nice guy. 
Well actually it isn't, because the shoulder you are crying on belongs to a nice guy. He's the one that puts up with all your stupid shit. And yet you somehow end up with all the assholes... Could it be because you're holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male with a trust fund?

Yeah, so you finally sold a freezer to an Eskimo. Congratulations on being a hot sales rep. We're all very proud of you for having a nice ass while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we're all so excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another rich fucktard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I'll be so surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl because I really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. 

But I'm happy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between your cell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcing the stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. 

Disclaimer: the contents of the note do not in any way mirror events in my life, past or present. 

John Doe Money Problems

John Doe finds himself with more month than money. He is infinitely hemorrhaging cash. He lives in the fast lane.

His attempts to stem the flow have yielded dismal results. His state of affairs is coming to a head. Pensively, he cups his chin in one hand, elbow perched on his knee and mulls over his predicament.

At face value, no one can smell a whiff of his pickle. He labours hard to keep up appearances but keeping up appearances costs money, money he doesn’t have. Deep down, he knows he needs to take action at present. But pride has infested him to the core, even infiltrating his rationale.

He kicks the can down the road. Save decision making for another day. Today, he lives a little. He is perfecting procrastination. He knows very well this is not fate.

It is a situation of his own making. Yet he lets it keep unwinding like a ball of string. He has a date with doom. He can smell it, but can’t snuff it out. Doom he can rein in. But he lets it simmer. In a rare moment of clarity, he realizes he is at a crossroads in life.

He knows that if he stays on this path, he’ll plummet into an abyss of no return. His will, is weak. He is loosing this battle. He reckons he needs someone. He needs help. A shrink, a pastor, a soothsayer ....anybody.

Recently, I attended a financial literacy seminar. One of those shindigs where you turn up raring to soak up transformative wisdom. Some 30-odd attendees were milling about the room exchanging small talk when I arrived. A well patronized event. I sat at the back of the room pen and pad in hand, drenched in expectation.

The presenters never really told us anything we haven't heard before. They were preaching to the choir. Unfortunately, we are too set in our ways. As soon as the din from all the advise dies, we slide back to our routines. Surrender to our urge to splurge. Pursue immediate gratification at the expense of tomorrow.

To navigate yourself to wealth takes more than words. You. Need. To. Act. You have to do it for self. Put in that work. Make sacrifices. There is no short cut. No magic bullet. You save up. Invest wisely. Have a budget. Stay disciplined. All the boring stuff we all know, yet shun with reckless abandon

Battle of wits

 My take is that flattening a paunch boils down to a battle of wits. As we age, things change. We exercise less (what with all our busy schedules), most of us sit for extended lengths of time at the workplace, in our cars in traffic and then sit some more at home (sedentary lives will be the end of us), we imbibe alcohol more often (well some of us) because networks have to be built and nursed; and to crown it all we enjoy hearty three square meals a day (Isn’t that why we work so hard anyway?).

In time, we realize our tummies bulging. We make half hearted mental notes to cut down on fatty foods and account for all food groups in our diet but we never quite come round to it. With effort, we at times observe this noble intent for a day or two, but inertia always gets the best of us.

Every now and then, you will see someone with a distended tummy which scares the living daylights out of you because you imagine that is your fate, and you are hurtling to it. Again, you make feeble promises to yourself, about the gym, your diet and your drink. Feeble promises that fall on rocky ground, never to sprout.

The fact is as we grow old, we burn less fat because we metabolize less. So the body stocks up more fat than it burns depending on how active we are.

If you're reading this, I bet you know someone on a religious exercise routine, planning to get into one or quit one already.

Benevolently, I will hazard to share four tips I “try” to adhere to in my fitness journey;
1). You don’t need regimens to help you rein in your carbohydrate binge. Simply watch what you eat, how much you eat, and the time of day you eat (A generous serving of Ugali at 10.00pm is an own goal for sure. What use is all that energy in your sleep?).

2). Take alcohol, but consider low-carb drinks (whisky and its ilk perhaps).

3). Exercise. Exercise. Exercise.  If you can’t hit the gym, running won’t cost you a dime. Once in awhile, alight from matatus two stages from your actual stage and walk home. It won’t kill you.

4). Tame your taste buds. Stay away from processed sugar. Hard I know, but it is an acquired taste. You can acquire a new one.

Not a foolproof list by any chance, but an effort nonetheless.

Patriotism in armband craze

I'm always amazed by the ingenuity of Kenyans. Browse around you for things uniquely Kenyan. I bet you will point out a marvel that speaks volumes about the creative genius behind it.

I will steer away from influencing your observation by way of hints. Recently, I had a sit-down with a Zimbabwean acquaintance in Kenya on business. A real bubbly fella with an opinion on everything under the sun. We met for tipple. He is a whisky guy, so before us was a bottle of Chivas. The conversation got off to a shaky start, I guess we were sizing each other up prodding at our comfort threshold.

Gradually, the liquor took the edge off and our conversation rambled on with relative ease. But there is so much one can ask about Uncle Bob. Each response I got sounded like something I've seen in a #someonetell tantrum on Twitter. In time, we exhausted politics, business and were onto the social realm. As our conversation progressed, we got to discussing peculiarities.

It was here that my acquaintance mentioned the armband, themed around the Kenyan flag. So he says to me, he has been to several African countries but it’s only in Kenya that he has come across this flag adorned armband craze.

I posed for a moment to reflect. Indeed, I have seen people rock those armbands as I make my everyday rounds but put very little thought into it. That revelation left me a tad patriotic. I made a mental note to acquire the subject armband next time I spot them on sale.

Look, don't you just feel a tinge when you see our runners donning garb tailored out of our national flag colors trouncing competition? Or better yet our rugby sevens team in their flag
t-shirts pulverizing competition cheered on by a handful of Kenyan fans, who drown any other noise in the stadia hysterically waving our flag?

Well, I don’t know what gives you that feel good kick about being Kenyan, whatever it is, rock it with pride today.


Courtesy of Richard Miriti

The Hustle Continues

Navigating the narrow sidewalks of downtown Nairobi can be quite a chore in the evenings. It tests your patience, what with all the weaving and sashaying you have to endure around a heaving web of humanity. There is hardly space for two generous strides.

So you walk with a heightened awareness of your surrounding. You just have to. Not unless you want to take on a legion of hawkers Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan style should you innocuously step on their wares.

No amount of apologies ever works with this bunch. So you tread with caution. The spaces between tarmac, and the shop entrances are a treasure trove of stories. You need only observe, and like a ball of string the stories unravel. You will see distraught shopkeepers nursing forlorn looks reminiscing of yesteryear's when order dictated customers could walk into their shops unimpeded.

A look that decries the extortion that is the license fees they pay to the city council for business. Licenses that should guarantee their customers an easy access to transact in their shops or window shops in the very least. Then we have the hawkers who've annexed city pavements, converting them into sprawling markets. They cause a racket that competes resolutely with the blaring horns of matatus and touts issuing catcalls to passersby.

The hawkers do raving business, displaying anything from counterfeit cutlery to mtumba. You may frown at their wanton disregard of the rights of walkers in town, but you’ve got to acknowledge their industry. The hawkers are forever edgy. Fidgety to a fault. They cast stares hither and thither always on the ready to spring at the sight of council askaris who pounce unannounced every now and then.

All hell breaks loose when the askaris strike. Hawkers run for it, leaving their lean display of wares behind. Once in a while, the askaris land a catch in the melee that ensues. Onlookers stare blankly from a safe distance as the askaris gleefully haul the few unfortunate culprits, and a mosaic of abandoned wares into the back of an ever hungry run down van that never tires of swallowing.

In the aftermath, this enclave of the city dips into a lull for a few minutes, quickly springing to life soon after.


Courtesy of Richard Miriti

Diary of a newly married village girl.

Monday:
Now home from honeymoon and settled in our new home. It's fun to cook for Tim. Today I made an angel food cake and the recipe said, "beat 12 eggs separately."
Well, I didn't have enough bowls to do that, so I had to borrow enough bowls
to beat the eggs in. The cake turned out Fine though.

Tuesday:
We wanted a fruit salad for supper. The recipe said, "serve without dressing." So I didn't dress. But Tim happened to bring a friend home for supper that night. They both looked so startled when I served them, I think it was the salad.

Wednesday:
I decided to serve rice and found a recipe which said, "wash thoroughly before steaming the rice." So I heated some water and took a bath before steaming the rice. Sounded kinda silly in the middle of the week. I can't say it improved the rice anyhow.

Thursday:
Today Tim asked for salad again. I tried a new recipe. It said, prepare ingredients, then toss on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving." I hunted all over the place for a garden and when I got one I tossed my salad into the bed of lettuce and stood over there for over one
hour so the dog would not take it. Tim came over and asked if I felt all right. I wonder
why? He must be stressed at work, I'll try and be supportive.

Friday:
Today I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said, "put all ingredients in a bowl and beat it." beat it I did, to my mum's place. There must have been something wrong with the recipe, because when I came back home again, it looked the same as when I left it.

Saturday:
Tim went shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I'm sure I don't know how hens dress for Sunday. I never noticed back on the farm, but I found an old doll dress and it's little cute shoes. I thought the hen looked really cute. When Tim saw it, he started counting to ten. Either he was really stressed because of his work, or he wanted the chicken to dance. When I asked him what was wrong he started crying and shouting out "why me? why me?". It has to be his job.

Who Am I?

My name is Amos but people call me Sean. My ethnic background explains a lot of who I am, and the values that I have developed. I grew up with a large family because my parents took the religious decree, go out and fill the earth, literally. I have 2 brothers and 5 sisters, but not such a big family when everyone is all grown up. Growing up in this environment helped mold me into the man that I have become today.


My family is religious and we went to church every week. Even as a child I attended church schooling where they taught us about our religion, manners and place in society, which in turn educated me about where I came from. However, now I am not that religious and don't go to church often because I believe it is becoming corrupted and commercialized. My family and my parents in particular, provided me with the morals that I hold to be true. I am very grateful of the way my parents brought me up. They always told me do to others as you would like them to do to you. That phrase is what I keep in mind but in a more corrupted manner, ‘do unto others before they do unto you.’


I haven't always done the right thing, but I have learned from it when I think back. The foundation has been set for me so I just have to build upon it.
I literally eat, sleep, watch a bit of telly, go on the net and study a little. I sometimes try to fit in a bit of exercise once in a while but I'm terribly unfit most of the time. I enjoy going on the internet but sometimes i get so addicted i find myself on for hours and hours but basically that’s what IT people do.


I enjoy being at home with my family but sometimes i prefer to be outside and away for a while.

My room is often quite messy because i tend to immediately throw things on my bed or floor when i arrive home from work or a day out with friends. I rarely hang up my clothes when i take them off and you will find socks and other stuff lying around the floor. That’s just me.

I love African American comedy, to be precise Dave Chappelle, Steve Harvey and Kat Williams, mainly because it’s a good laugh and the ideas are so random and different, its so ridiculously funny. I can go on and on about the set of comedians but i think that's just going to bore you to death considering that you also know them very well, hopefully. Like everyone, i have friends. (thank God). However, i don't have many close friends, only a small group of close friends that i trust and know very well.


I am me. I am Sean, my culture and environment has shaped who I am, for good and for bad. I battle some stereotypes and try to be different. I try not to judge others before I know them. I am neither perfect, nor do I try to be. Although I do not fight, I still learn and I listen to what is going on around me.

Did you know this....

Personally I wouldn't marry someone I don't know. You need to know what you are committing yourself to. After all we are talking about a life-long commitment. Like the author, I also don't believe that one should be in a relationship for five years before committing without a sound reason, whatever that means. The point is: five years is too long a time for two people to be involved without any progress.

They stay in relationships with hope. My advice to all the women is: Start from now and ask your long relationship partner what he thinks about you!

I am a man myself but I am sure that it will not take me years to marry a woman. Once I get a right woman with all the qualities I need, I will get married immediately. It will not take years, a year will be too long, and a delay will be caused by arrangements. I also blame you women why don't you ask your partners?

There are plenty of guys who are interested in you but you always tell them about your boyfriend that you have been involved for 4yrs and you are happy, my question is if you are happy, why are you in a relationship for so long (4yrs) without marriage. Women are not clever enough when it comes to do a
feasibility study about men.

WAKE UP AND ASK HIM (boyfriend): What will be my future with you? Do not take excuses? Tell him your future plans Enough is enough ask him what he is waiting for? If possible give him your parents' address and he must tell them what he wants from you. If he came to play around with you he will never come back. You must rather stay without a man rather than wasting your time with someone who will hurt you and leave you, for how long will you live like that? Once you are able to do that, you will see
the future you were dreaming of.

A RIGHT MAN WHO LOVES YOU WILL COME AND DO THAT. You ladies with long-term relationships ask your boyfriends today, if he is mumbling, leave him because you will be depressed one day if you find out that he is getting married to someone whom he met within 4 months. Imagine (4years = 4months) I am just picturing how your feeling will be? Ladies stay away from those relationships, they are 3% useful and 97% wasting your time. There could be someone out there who was going to marry you during this
4yrs maybe it was going to take him a year to marry you but you refused you wanted to stay in a relationship with no due date. We are all working according to time (Projects, Deliveries, Purchasing, Contracts, etc.) Why Not Love Affairs?


I have sisters I always tell them because I want the best for them. Some of you might not agree but I am sure this can help some of you.

PLEASE REMEMBER THIS: "IF A MAN IS STABLE IN LIFE, IN A RELATIONSHIP, BUT NOT MARRIED, THEN IT IS BECAUSE HE IS NOT SURE ABOUT THE WOMAN THAT HE IS
WITH."

He is not willing to commit to her and constantly has his eye open for something better or is waiting for her to become something better. Point blank. When he finds a woman that he is satisfied with, he will make her his wife. And ladies, sorry to tell some of you, but it doesn't take 4 or 5 years for that man to figure it out. It doesn't take 2 or 3 years either.


The only reason that a man will get married after that long of a time is because he's tired of looking for something better. And trust me, that's definitely what he was doing all of those years. So if you should happen to find yourself in one of those "long term" relationships then maybe you should step back, take a look at yourself and wonder what it is that you're missing by doing favors for this man who is not willing to fully commit.

Don't make excuses to yourself and your girlfriends saying things like "Oh he's waiting 'til he gets a better job" or "he's waiting to finish school" or "he's waiting until he moves from his apartment to a house".

DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED!!

Which one of those things can't be done with a wife or fiancé' by your side? So ladies, when you read this think about your situation and that man that you are living with, or the one that you spend many nights over his house or him over yours. Think about your baby's father that you are still in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "ex" that you are in a sexual relationship with. Think about your "boyfriend". And definitely think twice before you brag on a relationship that's a couple of years long and
you still have no commitment.

Like I've said before, I'm a man and I know the situation. I've been there and I know that we can come up with some extremely reasonable excuses, but.... DON'T FOOL YOURSELF, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED!

"Ladies, can i hear you say Amen!!"

And

"Guys, let's be honest"