Christians are going to Hell (with the rest of us)

Think you'll make it to the Pearly Gates? Better read up on the Bible, sinner.

For example : in Deuteronomy 13:6-10, it states : 'If your brother, or your son or daughter, or your beloved wife tries to secretly entice you, telling you to go and worship other gods, gods of people living near you, or far from you, or anywhere on earth, do not listen to him. You must kill them. Show them no pity. And your hand must strike the first blow.Then the hands of all the people. You shall stone them to death."

So unless you think the Bible is just a big load of horse-crap, you really should be stoning your family members to death if they do anything that might lead you to other gods.

But that's just that wacky Old Testament, you say. Nobody pays any attention to that any more!

OK then, you're off the hook for your holy reluctance to kill your horrible, unclean family members with thrown stones. But the New Testament says, in 1 Corinthians 11:4-5, " For any man to pray or to prophesy with his head covered shows disrespect for his head. And for a woman to pray or prophecy with her head uncovered shows disrespect for her head."

So men, if you've ever worn a hat in Church (or any other time you are praying), you're a sinner. And ladies, if you've ever NOT worn a hat in Church (or any other time you are praying), you too are a sinner, even if you thought showing off your great new hairdo in Church was to the greater glory of God. Indeed, in 1 Corinthians 11:6 it clearly says " Indeed, if a woman does go without a veil, she should have her hair cut off too.". The lineup for shaving forms on the left, you brazen hussies!

Of course, not wearing a hat in Church is not the worst thing a woman can do... not compared to the infamous and flagrant sin of talking. For is it not written in 1 Corinthians 14:34, " As in all the churches of God's holy people, women are to remain quiet in the assemblies, since they have no permission to speak: theirs is a subordinate part. If there is anything they want to know, they should ask their husbands at home: it is shameful for a woman to speak in the assembly. During instruction, a woman should be quiet and respectful. I give no permission for a woman to teach or to have authority over a man. A woman ought to be quiet."

So hush up those chatterbox mouths of yours, ladies. Yours is the subordinate role, it says it right there in the Bible. And seeing as you can't ever have authority over men, any of you who have men working for you, or God forbid, seek public office, are Jezebels of the foulest degree. But that's just the Epistles, right? Those aren't the literal words of Jesus.
Right you are! So let's see what Jesus has to say about things.

Well, for starters, there's Matthew 5:41-42 "Give to the one who asks you, and do not reject the one who wants to borrow from you. If you lend to those from whom you hope to be repaid, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners. "

And in Luke 6:30-31" "Give to everyone who asks you. And do not ask for your possessions back from the person who takes them away.. "

So if you've ever lent something to someone with the hope of being repaid, you're a sinner, a demon, and a wretch. I mean, Jesus must have been quite adamant about this, two Apostles say this is His opinion. So you must give to anyone who asks you and never expect repayment, or it's Hell for you. Obviously, there are a lot of bankers and owners of finance companies who are sin-soaked horrors, worse than any homosexual, and who are going to find Hell especially toasty.

Or how about Mark 11:10, wherein it is written : "Whoever divorces someone and marries another commits adultery. Whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. " Now I seem to recall that there's quite a number of prominent Republicans and others of the Religious Right who have been divorced and remarried at least once. How dare you Christians let yourself be lead by such obvious abominations of sin? You might as well just join Michael Moore in hating America. And of course, for all you rich Republicans, there's Matthew 6:19, Luke 12:15 :
"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth. A man's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions."

And further in Matthew 6:24, " No one can serve two masters. He will hate the one and love the other. You cannot serve both God and money.'" And more-so in Mark 6:21-22, "Sell everything you have. And give to the poor.".
Clearly, if you have many possessions and much wealth, you must sell them all and give it to the poor, lest you roast in the fires of Hell. Christ Himself, the one who is so central to your religion that you named it after Him, says to do so, and unless you think the Bible is anything less than the literal Word of God, you have to do it.

Even if you plead ignorance of the Word of God until this moment, you have now received Testament and from this point on, you must sell all your possessions, kill those who try to entice you away from the Lord, forsake all love of money (unless you hate God), ban all forms of divorce, and follow many, many other rules, too numerous to list here. But unless you wipe your ass with the Bible and the Word of God, you have a lot of reading to do.

On the other hand, you could just admit that you pick and choose the parts of the Bible that you like, and ignore what you don't like, and thus it is a meaningless book to reference in any argument.

But hey....you're going to Hell anyway.